I've been thinking lots of motivational & inspirational things, and I've been collecting some new items to post, but that whole 'life' thing keeps getting in the way of me getting on the computer to just sit and type away. I'll be back soon with more thoughts, quotes, books and more...
check back soon
Friday, August 22, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Dynamics of Leadership & Authority
A few years ago during my senior year of college, I participated in an experiential learning weekend on the Dyanamics of Leadership & Authority in Organizations.
Talk about a unique experience being one of the youngest individuals out of 30-40 participants over the course of the weekend. I remember it began with us being broken up into groups and placed in a room with chairs in a circle. There were to be 2 facilitators coming in, so we left 2 chairs vacant for them; when they walked in, they said nothing. That's how it all began...two days of mind-spinning, spiraling, thought-provoking discussion. It's so hard to even explain that experience. Why those two chairs were left open? How to respond to the 'expected leaders' not speaking? When faced with a group of different experiences, different ages, patterns emerge.
But here's what I got out of the experience that I wanted to share.
I look at these notes now, and I find that these comments that had such meaning for me then take on even more depth and color NOW.
Not everything is planned or controlled. There cannot always be a plan, an agenda.
We all have patches of a quilt; we just need to sew together the pieces.
Size of the group is very important.
Is there such a need for inclusion that any role will do?
I don't like being excluded. Why do that to others?
I cannot evaluate/judge because I don't want someone to do that to me.
We are all fearful of evaluation, that we close ourselves off from intimacy.
What I say is valid and worth listening to.
I am worthy to be in a group. I have something to share, and I will be open to say it.
I want to add something profound.
If a group decides how I feel, often I have authorized them to do so, and they hold the power.
Do I like being spoken for? Why speak for another?
Just because an individual does not verbally voice an opinion does not invalidate that opinion.
Silence is power if the silence is recognized.
Silence can help process thoughts.
The connect, do we break some eggshells or suffer in silence.
No matter what, a power struggle always exists. Even if it's only you.
How do we delay discomfort? How do we arrange ourselves?
Being an authority is a mixed burden. Attraction & Repulsion.
How effective is a group of leaders if no one will follow?
Special relationships can help & hurt a group.
When you take a risk, you must be open to being criticized for it.
How can I learn without taking a risk?
It's about learning.
I don't want to withdraw from college before I leave college.
The last thought had to do with the realization of being present. I was rushing to be done and move to onto the next step of my life, but I realized I needed to embrace now. I learned more about risk and being okay with it. I learned more about group dynamics and that just because someone was silent, it didn't mean he/she didn't have something brillant to add to the discussion. I remember feeling so intimidated in the surroundings; I was younger and less life experienced. I have so often let my ego take control, and I've felt inferior. That is where those comments on having a voice and giving other power sparked from. It's taken awhile to let go of that ego voice and just let it be with all people. It was an intense experience that for a very long time I couldn't put into words. I remember coming home those two evenings (late) and not even being able to talk to my friends; my brain was fried, and I was exhausted. I couldn't even explain the experience, so I just withdrew to contemplate the day's events and get some sleep.
It was a great weekend, and I do hope that I will be able to participate in an experiential weekend again.
Talk about a unique experience being one of the youngest individuals out of 30-40 participants over the course of the weekend. I remember it began with us being broken up into groups and placed in a room with chairs in a circle. There were to be 2 facilitators coming in, so we left 2 chairs vacant for them; when they walked in, they said nothing. That's how it all began...two days of mind-spinning, spiraling, thought-provoking discussion. It's so hard to even explain that experience. Why those two chairs were left open? How to respond to the 'expected leaders' not speaking? When faced with a group of different experiences, different ages, patterns emerge.
But here's what I got out of the experience that I wanted to share.
I look at these notes now, and I find that these comments that had such meaning for me then take on even more depth and color NOW.
Not everything is planned or controlled. There cannot always be a plan, an agenda.
We all have patches of a quilt; we just need to sew together the pieces.
Size of the group is very important.
Is there such a need for inclusion that any role will do?
I don't like being excluded. Why do that to others?
I cannot evaluate/judge because I don't want someone to do that to me.
We are all fearful of evaluation, that we close ourselves off from intimacy.
What I say is valid and worth listening to.
I am worthy to be in a group. I have something to share, and I will be open to say it.
I want to add something profound.
If a group decides how I feel, often I have authorized them to do so, and they hold the power.
Do I like being spoken for? Why speak for another?
Just because an individual does not verbally voice an opinion does not invalidate that opinion.
Silence is power if the silence is recognized.
Silence can help process thoughts.
The connect, do we break some eggshells or suffer in silence.
No matter what, a power struggle always exists. Even if it's only you.
How do we delay discomfort? How do we arrange ourselves?
Being an authority is a mixed burden. Attraction & Repulsion.
How effective is a group of leaders if no one will follow?
Special relationships can help & hurt a group.
When you take a risk, you must be open to being criticized for it.
How can I learn without taking a risk?
It's about learning.
I don't want to withdraw from college before I leave college.
The last thought had to do with the realization of being present. I was rushing to be done and move to onto the next step of my life, but I realized I needed to embrace now. I learned more about risk and being okay with it. I learned more about group dynamics and that just because someone was silent, it didn't mean he/she didn't have something brillant to add to the discussion. I remember feeling so intimidated in the surroundings; I was younger and less life experienced. I have so often let my ego take control, and I've felt inferior. That is where those comments on having a voice and giving other power sparked from. It's taken awhile to let go of that ego voice and just let it be with all people. It was an intense experience that for a very long time I couldn't put into words. I remember coming home those two evenings (late) and not even being able to talk to my friends; my brain was fried, and I was exhausted. I couldn't even explain the experience, so I just withdrew to contemplate the day's events and get some sleep.
It was a great weekend, and I do hope that I will be able to participate in an experiential weekend again.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Love
All you need is love...something like that, so the song goes. We could get a little Gershwin in here too, 'seek and ye shall find.' For some reason, the last couple of weeks, I've been all love stricken. Well, maybe that's not the right term. Just thinking about it a bit more...the thought that I need to cast a line to catch some fish. You can't win the lotto unless you buy a ticket. I haven't been actively out there hitting the bar scene or whatever you're 'supposed' to do. So I am trying to come up with some creative ways to meet some nice boys/men. It's just been on my mind I guess...sometimes I wish someone was there at the house to share the movie with on a Thursday night or just sit and read with on the couch; of course, there's the activities of leaving the house and adventuring to various places. Nonetheless, I am independent and can do these things alone, but it's fun to share it too. For tonite, since it is time for sleep, I will Let it Be.
P.S. If you haven't seen 'Across the Universe', check it out...it's a bit of a mind trip, but good music.
P.S. If you haven't seen 'Across the Universe', check it out...it's a bit of a mind trip, but good music.
Personal Mission Statement
So I've been reading/listening up on Covey. 7 Habits stuff. I'm actually listening to the book on CD...I know, exciting driving material...actually, I quite enjoy it. Plus, I'm learning his material at work as well. Habit 2 - Personal Vision - Begin with the end in mind. Imagine it's your funeral (3 years from today)...what do you want people to say...who were you? Who was I? From this, he says to create a personal mission statement based on being principle-centered. It feels so big and daunting...it's not...what's important to me? Who do I want to be in the roles in which I exist? Is it really that hard?
To be honest in all facets of my life
At work, to give high quality product
To strive to live from a place of presence
Okay, I think I may struggle a bit with this...I'm going to tool around with it a little...but what a message.
You think about what you'd want people to say about your character...what would I want my family, my friends, to say about me?
To be honest in all facets of my life
At work, to give high quality product
To strive to live from a place of presence
Okay, I think I may struggle a bit with this...I'm going to tool around with it a little...but what a message.
You think about what you'd want people to say about your character...what would I want my family, my friends, to say about me?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Life is to Live
"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Gratitude
Wayne Dyer in "The Power of Intention" mentions this word about 50 bazillion times. Sarah Ban Breathnach talked about a gratitude journal in her book, "Simple Abundance."
For us to manifest that which we want into our being, we must always remember to be thankful for what is.
I like the idea of a gratitude journal - 3 to 5 items a day. Sometimes it could be big things and other days it's just being grateful that I made it out of bed. I started one in high school...it made mention of getting ice cream with a friend after school or going to pick out a prom dress. Well, times have changed, and the journal reads a bit different now. I'm thankful for the friendships and the food still but also sometimes just for the starry sky on an early morning walk. It's a reminder of connection to people, to nature, to form but also to the formless.
On that note, thank YOU for taking the time to read this message today :)
For us to manifest that which we want into our being, we must always remember to be thankful for what is.
I like the idea of a gratitude journal - 3 to 5 items a day. Sometimes it could be big things and other days it's just being grateful that I made it out of bed. I started one in high school...it made mention of getting ice cream with a friend after school or going to pick out a prom dress. Well, times have changed, and the journal reads a bit different now. I'm thankful for the friendships and the food still but also sometimes just for the starry sky on an early morning walk. It's a reminder of connection to people, to nature, to form but also to the formless.
On that note, thank YOU for taking the time to read this message today :)
Relationships
Today I struggled with relationships...
A friend experienced a crisis in another city, and there was nothing I could do about it from what I sat. I ached because I could not be there. I could not comfort or express anything...how I wished I could. I tried to reach out to my friend but he detached for whatever reason. How do I deal with this? As Eckhart Tolle stated, "All you can do is create a space...for grace and love to enter." I realized tonight that I must give him space...space to sort out his crisis. He knows that I am here if he needs me. That is all that I can do.
I also experienced a situation with a relative today. For years, I've put an expectation of how I thought our relationship should be. When it didn't fit this model, let's just say there's been resistance on both sides. We have our own distance between us, but I've been resisting our relationship as it is for years. How powerful this evening to realize that I need to accept the situation as it is...be willing to forgive myself for how we've lived and be willing to forgive her. I must stay true to who I am, and she must do the same. How did I not see this before?
It's about letting go...surrendering to this life. This doesn't mean inaction but rather acceptance of the situation as it IS. One of Eckhart's quotes on this is, "I have learned to offer no resistance to what is; I have learned to allow the present moment to be and accept the impermanent nature of all things and conditions. Thus I have found peace."
A friend experienced a crisis in another city, and there was nothing I could do about it from what I sat. I ached because I could not be there. I could not comfort or express anything...how I wished I could. I tried to reach out to my friend but he detached for whatever reason. How do I deal with this? As Eckhart Tolle stated, "All you can do is create a space...for grace and love to enter." I realized tonight that I must give him space...space to sort out his crisis. He knows that I am here if he needs me. That is all that I can do.
I also experienced a situation with a relative today. For years, I've put an expectation of how I thought our relationship should be. When it didn't fit this model, let's just say there's been resistance on both sides. We have our own distance between us, but I've been resisting our relationship as it is for years. How powerful this evening to realize that I need to accept the situation as it is...be willing to forgive myself for how we've lived and be willing to forgive her. I must stay true to who I am, and she must do the same. How did I not see this before?
It's about letting go...surrendering to this life. This doesn't mean inaction but rather acceptance of the situation as it IS. One of Eckhart's quotes on this is, "I have learned to offer no resistance to what is; I have learned to allow the present moment to be and accept the impermanent nature of all things and conditions. Thus I have found peace."
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