Dynamics of Leadership & Authority

A few years ago during my senior year of college, I participated in an experiential learning weekend on the Dyanamics of Leadership & Authority in Organizations.
Talk about a unique experience being one of the youngest individuals out of 30-40 participants over the course of the weekend. I remember it began with us being broken up into groups and placed in a room with chairs in a circle. There were to be 2 facilitators coming in, so we left 2 chairs vacant for them; when they walked in, they said nothing. That's how it all began...two days of mind-spinning, spiraling, thought-provoking discussion. It's so hard to even explain that experience. Why those two chairs were left open? How to respond to the 'expected leaders' not speaking? When faced with a group of different experiences, different ages, patterns emerge.
But here's what I got out of the experience that I wanted to share.
I look at these notes now, and I find that these comments that had such meaning for me then take on even more depth and color NOW.

Not everything is planned or controlled. There cannot always be a plan, an agenda.
We all have patches of a quilt; we just need to sew together the pieces.
Size of the group is very important.
Is there such a need for inclusion that any role will do?
I don't like being excluded. Why do that to others?
I cannot evaluate/judge because I don't want someone to do that to me.
We are all fearful of evaluation, that we close ourselves off from intimacy.
What I say is valid and worth listening to.
I am worthy to be in a group. I have something to share, and I will be open to say it.
I want to add something profound.
If a group decides how I feel, often I have authorized them to do so, and they hold the power.
Do I like being spoken for? Why speak for another?
Just because an individual does not verbally voice an opinion does not invalidate that opinion.
Silence is power if the silence is recognized.
Silence can help process thoughts.
The connect, do we break some eggshells or suffer in silence.
No matter what, a power struggle always exists. Even if it's only you.
How do we delay discomfort? How do we arrange ourselves?
Being an authority is a mixed burden. Attraction & Repulsion.
How effective is a group of leaders if no one will follow?
Special relationships can help & hurt a group.
When you take a risk, you must be open to being criticized for it.
How can I learn without taking a risk?
It's about learning.
I don't want to withdraw from college before I leave college.

The last thought had to do with the realization of being present. I was rushing to be done and move to onto the next step of my life, but I realized I needed to embrace now. I learned more about risk and being okay with it. I learned more about group dynamics and that just because someone was silent, it didn't mean he/she didn't have something brillant to add to the discussion. I remember feeling so intimidated in the surroundings; I was younger and less life experienced. I have so often let my ego take control, and I've felt inferior. That is where those comments on having a voice and giving other power sparked from. It's taken awhile to let go of that ego voice and just let it be with all people. It was an intense experience that for a very long time I couldn't put into words. I remember coming home those two evenings (late) and not even being able to talk to my friends; my brain was fried, and I was exhausted. I couldn't even explain the experience, so I just withdrew to contemplate the day's events and get some sleep.
It was a great weekend, and I do hope that I will be able to participate in an experiential weekend again.